Meet the Spouse: Benjamin

meet the spouse

Yesterday, I explained that I wanted to introduce my husband to you, and also to meet your spouses! (I know a lot about you, but very little about your partners. Likewise, you hear about me all the time, but not much about my husband. I thought it would be fun to get introduced!)

Here’s my formal introduction.

(If you haven’t already, I’d love it if you introduced your husband or wife some time this month, and linked up with the LinkyTool below!)

* * *

Ben and I met when I was 17 and he was 19. I was in my last year of high school and he worked full-time at a label-printing factory. He had a goatee and played guitar in a punk-rock band. He was quiet and contemplative, and liked to hang out at book stores and coffee shops. (Can you hear me melting into a teenaged puddle?)


My hot boyfriend playing in his band.

He’d recently started attending my church, and we’d barely exchanged a few words when he asked me to go with him to the church’s young adult Christmas banquet. He was gutsy like that.  He wore leather gloves to  drive, and gave me a single, fluorescent-orange gerbera daisy in the car. I was pretty much madly in love with him from that day forward.

chapters and colasantis

Ben in his element (Chapters); at a wedding during our dating days.


In front of my new car, which eventually became our car.

He was tall, musical, mysterious, and struck me as having a rich inner life. Most of all, he listened to Blink-182 and Sum41 . . . and also Bach. *Swoon.*

I later learned that he was also clinically depressed, but it was too late. He had stolen my heart. (Fortunately, his depression hasn’t made a serious comeback since those early years.)

We got married three years later. I was still an undergrad studying English, commuting an hour to the university. He started working for my Dad, building and installing kitchen cabinets.

Shortly after I finished my MA, Ben started his own home improvements business, which is where he’s still at today. He’s done everything from fixing people’s dishwashers to painting walls, installing trim and flooring, and building decks. (In fact, this year he’s making plans to build his own shop so he can expand what he’s able to build for customers.)


The photo I kept in my office when I was an instructor at the university.

Today, some of the words I would use to describe Ben include: introverted, industrious, meticulous, thoughtful, determined, and gentle. (I doubt these would be the words he’d use.)

He doesn’t play in a band anymore, but he regularly plays guitar for Lydia to dance to, which still makes me swoon every time.

Here are some of the things I appreciate most about my husband:

I feel like he can take care of me. He’s strong in all the places I’m weak. I’m scatterbrained and forgetful; I’m easily overwhelmed and confused. I hate numbers and I can’t fill out paperwork to save my life. I know he’s got all that covered. He’s thorough, organized, and unruffled by charts and figures. He takes care of the finances and all those important documents. He also takes painstaking care of the vehicles, thank God.

He’s totally supportive of all my harebrained ideas. From our medieval-themed wedding to our home birth, he’s always given my suggestions the green light without reservation.

He’d be the one to encourage me to pursue my art, not concerning me with what’s most practical. He’s completely supportive of me being a stay-at-home mom, not earning a penny. Even though he’s never been a fan of pets, he let me take home one of my parents’ puppies when infertility was crushing my soul. He still puts up with her with remarkable patience (only sometimes grumbling that we have a kid now; why do we need a dog to tear up the contents of the garbage cans?).

He eats all my food. This is a godsend. I could not DEAL with a picky eater. I’m constantly trying new recipes — traditional foods, exotic foods, spicy foods, you name it. I love to experiment in the kitchen. In the last month he’s eaten salmon chowder, beef liver, and homemade Vietnamese pho, all for the first time; and ate them all with gusto. He never complains. (OK, almost never. He wasn’t crazy about my pumpkin-coconut flour muffins.)

He’s an incredible Dad. Patient, tender, playful.

He always listens as I blather and blather (and boy, can I blather) about whatever I’m reading — from theology to parenting to food and nutrition.

I seriously LOVE that he can fix and/or build anything. He sees things differently than I do. Where I see an incomprehensible mess (“Ben, our stupid space-van won’t let me open the hatch!”) (“Ben, I can’t get this stupid piece of junk to turn on!”) (“Ben, why is my bike making this stupid sound?”), he can observe it closely and see wires that need to be replaced or screws that need to be tightened. And if I can dream it, he can build it — like new shelves for my cookbooks, or Lydia’s sensory table.

husband fix bike

Fixing my bike.

I painted it!

He built it, but I painted it!

He complements me beautifully. We have similar taste in movies, music, and TV; we share similar ideas of a good time (an evening browsing through the bookstore; watching a good comedy together with a bowl of spicy popcorn between us); and we’re both crazy about our little girl. Neither of us is especially romantic, which suits me just fine.

I’m a pretty lucky woman.

married couple

Last August, on our 7-year anniversary.

* * *

So that’s my husband. Care to share your own stories?

If you have a blog of your own, you can share a link with the LinkyTool below. You have until the end of February!

If you don’t have a blog, but you still want to tell me a little about your spouse (PLEASE DO), just share in the comments! If you’re stuck for ideas, answer this question: what do you like best about your spouse?

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  1. such a great idea – i plan to link up soon. love your story!
    becca: exile fertility recently thoughts on weaning, at least for today.My Profile

  2. I love it! What a great post to your hubby. You guys make an excellent match.

  3. Has anyone ever told you that your husband looks EXACTLY like the 11th incarnation of the Doctor on Doctor Who?

  4. What a great Valentine’s Day idea! It was occurring to me while reading your post that there should be some sort of blog tool where you can like sentences within a post–like highlighting on the Kindle–because I have a lot of LIKE moments for this one. . . LIKE leather driving gloves. Very chic of young Ben!
    Mrs. Levine recently posted..Inspired by LoveMy Profile

  5. Such a sweet idea! And Ben seems like a great guy (of course!). ^_^
    Katie recently posted..Meet the Spouse: The DDHMy Profile

  6. Aww, I loved reading this. So lovely to hear your story, meet the man who gets mentioned so often here. You seem to be a great fit for each other.
    I don’t tend to write so much about my husband because he’s not so comfortable with it. He’s quite a private person in real life too (he balances out my tendency to overshare ;)
    But I like this idea… so maybe I’ll see if I can think of a creative way of introducing him without embarrassing him.

    p.s. I love that we can be silly together. Maybe that sounds like a bizarre thing to pick as a “best” but before I met him I assumed I’d always have to keep the weird, silly side of me hidden, because it’s a bit dumb, not very attractive. But he finds me hilarious, and now I love nothing better than making him laugh, drawing out his hidden silly side too :)
    fiona lynne recently posted..Ash Wednesday thoughtsMy Profile

    • Thanks, Fiona. Ben’s surprisingly okay with most of what I write about him, though I did make sure to let him read this before posting it.

      It IS so great to be able to be silly together! Neither Ben nor I are particularly funny, but it definitely feels so good when we can goof around and laugh at each other and not feel self-conscious.

  7. I’m a bit late but DH is concerned I over share already as it is, so I don’t think he’d be comfortable with me doing a post like this. I enjoyed reading yours though! Ad I have to say, Lydia is adorable! I totally melted when I saw the photo of her with her sensory table. Such a sweet little girl!
    Michele recently posted..How to Make a Mei Tai – Creating Paneling & Removable Leg PadsMy Profile

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