December was a mixed bag for me.
On the one hand, there were sunny snow days spent outside, and time with friends and family. Moments of heaven.
On the other, I spent a lot of time feeling intensely depressed about our inability to grow our family. I had really been hoping to be pregnant by the end of the year. (Well, I had really been hoping to be pregnant by August; but I was hoping at the very least by the end of the year.) I got confirmation on Christmas morning that I wasn’t pregnant (and probably won’t be any time soon), and spent the day grieving the absence of the child who was never to be.
Merry and bright and all that jazz.
2014 is going to be a tough year for me. Six of my close friends are pregnant and will be having babies in the time I’d been hoping to be welcoming our own little addition. This number could grow at a moment’s notice — I have the world’s most fertile group of friends, and am bracing myself for a 100% pregnancy rate by the end of the year (myself excluded). I’ll be attending baby showers and bringing meals to new mamas all spring. Everybody on Facebook, Instagram, and my blog reader is pregnant. EVERYBODY. (Not joking: I took a Facebook break while writing this post and saw ANOTHER new pregnancy announcement. This has become an almost daily occurrence.)
Infertility is such a lonely experience.
I’m trying to focus on my blessings. I’ve got such a fabulous little family. I love them to death. We’ll make lots of memories together, just the three of us.
And you know, Jesus and all that.
Here are some of the little things I’ve been enjoying.
Not much time for reading this month.
I did pick up The Complete Tightwad Gazette (Amy Dacyczyn) from the library. At first it annoyed me that there’s no organizing principle and not even a table of contents — you have to read the whole thing, front to back, in the hopes of finding something useful. But then I figured it’s kind of like Pinterest, but with everything devoted to frugality — you can casually scroll through and see if anything strikes your fancy.
I noticed that pretty much everything the author suggests, my Mom already does. Turns out “tightwad” and “Mennonite” are fairly synonymous. I didn’t realize what a great education in thriftyness I got growing up.
Everyone Poops (Taro Gomi) – I picked up this classic from a thrift store for a dollar. Totally worth it. Every family member finds it amusing. And it’s a biology lesson!
My only complaint is that only male humans are featured, suggesting that everyone except girls poops.
Chloe (Peter McCarty) – I love everything about this book from the library. The illustrations are quirky and absolutely gorgeous. I totally endorse the moral of the story (using your imagination is more fun than watching TV). I love the extensive list of the family’s favourite foods (six kinds of vegetables, plus noodles. Why, in most kids’ books, do children always hate greens? Why do we need to keep telling kids that vegetables are gross?). And I love that all the siblings share a bed in the final scene — it’s so cozy and sweet.
You have to have seen the Pentatonix Little Drummer Boy video on Facebook. I think at least two dozen of my friends shared it. And for good reason: it’s breathtaking.
So we purchased the album (PTXmas) and pretty much listened to it every day of Advent. All the songs are great, although Little Drummer Boy and Carol of the Bells are by far my favourite. It’s earned a permanent spot on our Christmas rotation (which says a lot — I’m hard to impress when it comes to Christmas music).
Wizard of Oz — Continuing the Classic Movie Night tradition we started last month, we chose this one because Lydia adores the Over the Rainbow scene. This turned out to be the only scene worth watching. I give the movie a solid “Meh.” I now see why people describe it as creepy and weird. A least now I’ll get the pop culture references: “I’ll get you, my pretty, and you’re little dog, too!”
Sound of Music — this one was a winner. We all loved it. I can’t believe I always assumed it was boring! Okay, maybe some parts were boring. But it was mostly charming, and the final scenes with the Nazis were really intense! Lydia asks to watch “Doe a Deer” several times a day, and is memorizing all the songs.
Catching Fire — This. Movie. WOW.
A rare visit to the theatre for us, this one was very hard to watch. I trembled and/or cried through the entire thing. I feel like I’m watching a true story, because in a way, I am. It’s the human story, which has played out again and again and is still happening. (I’m just glad I didn’t read the book, because I don’t think I could have endured that intensity of emotion over several days.)
Despite how hard it was to watch, I thought it was absolutely stunning. Jennifer Lawrence is amazing. Incredible story-telling. So much TRUTH.
Warm Bodies — we rented this when Ben was sick and my mom took Lydia. Thumbs up. There are some swears and a few really gruesome scenes, but it’s delightfully unique and surprisingly funny. Just don’t think too hard because a lot of it doesn’t make much sense.
How about you? What have you been into?
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